Date: Wed, 12 Apr 1995 00:15:53 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: LOG: Bernadette Visits Michael

Archive-Name: berni-n-michael.log

Time has passed. Tamber has returned to the suite Bernadette shares with
Kevlan and resumed his watch over the young Singer. Bernadette has been
very distracted and distant...it causes Tamber a little bit of concern,
strengthened when Berni quietly excuses herself and, after changing into
some normal clothes, slips out of the suite. Odd. She hasn't left the suite
willingly since their return.

Bernadette hesitates in front of the Turlough Suite door a moment before
pressing the door chime. A moment or two passes and Michael admits her into
the room.

With a brief glance around the room, after exchanging what could be termed
pleasantries, Bernadette looks up at Michael. "I, um...I have a question I
wanted to ask you..."

Michael barely manages the pleasantries. He appears not displeased to see
you, there's nothing curt or irritated about his manner, but he talks as
little as possible. To the nervous preface to the question he simply lifts
his eyebrows inquiringly.

Bernadette scratches the back of her head and clears her voice. In a 
small voice, she says "Well, um...see...it's been suggested to me that,
uh...Kevlan..." She falters a lot, seeming almost embarassed. "Well, I
kind of heard that, see, his symbiont might...y'know...work faster if
he were exposed to crystal." She pauses and blinks up at you before
adding unnecessarily "In the ranges."

Michael's expression is hard to read, but then, it's been hard to read for a
few days now. He doesn't seem to think the idea is outlandish, but after
you've done speaking he shakes his head very slowly. 

"If it werenae for a few things I saw in him, I'd say you'd a good idea
there, Berni. He's physically well enough to be moved, if it's done
carefully, and it might well help the symbiont. But..." He hesitates a
moment, unsure how to say this. Finally:

"I picked up a few things from him when I was talking to him before, testing
his reactions. First of all, he's paralyzed by the idea of having to try and
do anything. I finally persuaded him to choose an object and pick it up, and
it took all he had. He's afraid of failure, and he's particularly afraid of
being asked to do *something*. He panicked entirely till I assured him I'd
not ask of him anything difficult, anything he couldnae do, and he was
vehement when I implied he might be able to get well -- he said, 'I can't;
it's all gone.'" Michael sighs. "And speech is one of the most difficult
things for him at the moment. He's more trouble with his voice than I'd
expected. Put this together with what got him captured in the first place --
somebody's wish that he not be able to do that black installation -- and I'd
be very wary of exposing him to the Ranges until we know more. I'm afraid
he's been somehow made afraid of Singing, or convinced he can't, and that
that's his major stumbling-block behind all the panic now. And if it is,
he'd not handle the Ranges at all well. I'm afraid he'd be badly set back at
best, and might slip into catatonia entirely at worst. If we can find out
enough to discount that possibility at some point I'd say sure, try it. But
I think there's far too much of a chance to hit something we cannae handle,
if we try it now."

Bernadette listens to you attentively, her face carefully neutral.
She remains silent for a few moments, apparently digesting all you've said,
before she shakes her head slightly. "I admit you have more experience with
this kind of thing, Michael, and I respect your opinion. But I'm afraid I don't
agree." She sighs a little and paces the room. "After being partnered with
Kevlan for close to two years, I feel pretty confident that I know him..." she
glances over at you. "Singing crystal has always been theraputic for him...it
awes him...whenever he's feeling bad, he ususally seeks solace in the ranges."

She stops pacing and stands near the door with her back turned to you. "If
there's only one thing that Kevlan has always been able to do, it's sing. I
can't help but feel that taking him to the ranges can help..." Once more she
turns to look at you. "It's been well over a year since he has been in the
ranges, Michael....He's going to have to go soon, anyway..." Her voice holds a
note of pleading, reflected as well in her troubled brown eyes.

Michael shrugs. "Have you a better explanation for what he believes he
'can't' do?" He shakes his head, turning away. "You asked what I thought; I
told you. Do as you like, just leave me out of it."

Bernadette's spine stiffens and her face goes blank. In a formal, yet
chilly tone, she replies "No, I don't know what he believes he can't do."
She turns back to the door and thumbs it open, saying curtly "Thank you for
your opinion, Michael. I apologize for involving you." She leaves the room
calmly; the door sliding shut behind her.