Date: Wed, 12 Apr 1995 00:12:27 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: LOG: Berni Sings for Kevlan

Archive-Name: berni-song.log

It is a day or two after Michael's visit to Kevlan; Tamber, Jerrik, and
  Bernadette have been doing their best to tend to the haunted Singer, and
  Kevlan's responses have been a little more aware, a little more alert, but
  not much. Sporadic demands of the Hangar and the Sorting Bay have called
  Tamber and Jerrik away, and at this moment in time, Jerrik is attending to
  his duties, while Tamber busies himself with attending to a duty which
  has not yet received attention - unpacking Kevlan's possessions brought
  back from Hesperia. Bringing forth the fine shirt that Joran had tailored
  for Kevlan, Tamber murmurs sadly that Kevlan had not gotten to wear it
  yet....

Bernadette sits groggily, half-reclined, on the bed next to Kevlan's 
  sleeping form, watching Tamber unpack Kevlan's belongings. She blinks 
  as he starts pulling articles of clothing out that she doesn't 
  recognize, and frowns a little at Tamber's mumured comment, but remains 
  silent.

Tamber gazes regretfully for a long moment at the fine, silken black 
  shirt in his hands, and then glances over at Bernadette. He almost 
  smiles, but there is more sadness than pleasure in his expression. "I 
  dragged Kevlan to the tailors before we went to Hesperia," he 
  clarifies, wistfully. "I did not think it proper that our Galahad go on 
  Guild business without clad in all the style a black Crystal Singer 
  should deserve." He sighs, then, and hangs the garment in the closet.
Turning round again, Tamber adds, nodding towards one corner of the 
  room, "Is that instrument yours, my dear?"

Bernadette glances at the newer guitar Tamber points at, and answers 
  him "It's mine..." She looks up at him, eyes bloodshot, ringed darkly 
  beneath with fatigue shadows, "Ordered it while you two were away," she 
  continues softly, as she looks down at Kevlan beside her, "since I 
  couldn't use Kevlan's anymore...and I could afford it." She shrugs one 
  shoulder slightly.
Bernadette nods, remarking "They're lovely, Tamber. You have good 
  taste." One corner of her mouth curves upwards in a little smile. "I 
  should take you with me to go see the tailor one of these days." She 
  sighs a little and climbs off the bed carefully, taking a few steps 
  over to her guitar and holds it in front of her, as if she were going 
  to play. Instead, she just looks at it, fingers poised over the strings 
  and frets. "I haven't felt much like singing lately...." As she looks 
  over at Kevlan, her fingers start moving, playing a tender tune, as if 
  they had minds of their own. Soon, though, her voice joins in the song, 
  soft and sweet...

	You are my love and my life...
	You are my inspiration
	Just you and me

Kevlan rolls over slightly, making a tiny confused sound. Tamber 
  straightens, and watches him gravely.

Bernadette continues, apparently having not heard Kevlan's vocalization.

	Simple and free
	Baby you're everything
	I've ever dreamed of
	Give me your own special smile

Kevlan's eyes come open, and he stares blankly in Bernadette's 
  direction... no, not blankly, but rather with an expression of mingled 
  despair and yearning. Trembling violently, he starts trying to sit up....

Again, oblivious and absorbed in the song, Bernadette sings on...
And with the next line, she blushes, lowering her gaze to her fingers, 
  her voice not quite as loud...

	Promise you'll never leave me
	Life is worth living
	When you're beside me...

She stops playing abruptly and drops into the beanbag chair behind her, 
  pushing the guitar aside and covering her face with her hands, sitting 
  in a little huddled ball.

Tamber hastens to Kevlan's side as the younger man, with a hoarse 
  groan, tumbles off the edge of the bed. Tears well up in Kevlan's blue 
  eyes; for a long moment, his gaze is almost clear as he stares 
  longingly in Bernadette's direction. The moment does not last, though, 
  as Kevlan faints, slumping sideways into Tamber's grasp.

Bernadette jerks her head up upon hearing the commotion, her face red 
  and tear streaked, and utters a little strangled cry as she jumps to 
  her feet, exclaiming "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..." She falters, and 
  looks miserably between Kevlan's slumped body in Tamber's arms and the 
  Sorter, and bursts into tears again as she flees into the bathing 
  room... She does not, however, close the door behind her.

Tamber mutters an oath, as he hoists Kevlan back into his bed. The 
  Sorter lingers by him long enough to make sure that Kevlan isn't going 
  to jerk awake again immediately, smoothing his hair, settling the 
  blankets about him. Then, Tamber glances off towards the bathing 
  chamber. With a sigh, he pads in after Bernadette.

Bernadette crouches in the farthest corner of the room from the door, 
  her back towards the entrance, weeping, for the most part, silently. 
  She hiccups, periodically, breaking the relative silence in the room.

"Oh.... oh, my dear... " Tamber kneels down beside the distraught girl, 
  and pulls her to his shoulder, to rock her gently as though she were a 
  child. His voice gone rough with deep empathy, he murmurs, "I know, my 
  dear, believe me, I know... "

Bernadette lets herself be held, curled up against Tamber's chest like a little 
  girl and hiccups "You...*hic*...can't know..." She takes a shuddering breath 
  and moans miserably "All I've been doing is hurting him lately.." Her presses 
  a hand to her eyes and continues crying.

Tamber strokes your hair gently. "Shhh... shh, my dear. We must do as Michael 
  has recommended... it will help bring Kevlan out of this trap in his mind... 
  we are doing the right thing!" He holds you tenderly, and adds, "It's alright 
  to cry... "

Bernadette buries her face in the front of your shirt and sobs "I miss him!"

Tamber breathes roughly, sadly, "So do we all, my dear... so do we all... "

Bernadette is often distracted. When you are near her the hair on your arms 
  stands on end, which you unconsciously brush down.
Bernadette continues crying softly for a few more moments before she regains a 
  bit of composure and mutters "If only they would have told me where you 
  were..."

Tamber smirks a little, and tells you, "I know... the Hesperians had asked for 
  'discretion'." He stresses the word sardonically.

Bernadette frowns. "Discretion. Privacy. Stupid things."

Tamber sighs, and just lets you lean against him, as he mutters tightly, "My 
  dear, I do laud your desire to have aided... but even I could do nothing. I 
  do not know the planet, and neither do you." For once, you can hear palpable 
  exhaustion and grief in Tamber's tenor.

Bernadette sits back a little and looks at you sadly. "I know," she sighs and 
  lowers her gaze. "I never should have left...if I hadn't, maybe he wouldn't 
  have taken the assignment, then everything would be okay again." She frowns 
  and whispers "I want to tell him how sorry I am...but he barely recognizes 
  I'm real."

Tamber's handsome face shows less sign of his worry than his voice - as if even 
  with having to deal with Kevlan's condition, his own innate fastidiousness 
  refuses to let him look too worn, too haggard. But his eyes are grave. "I 
  think, my dear, that he fears you will vanish again. I have heard him cry out 
  in the night, even on Hesperia after we got him back. It would seem... part 
  of his torment."

Bernadette sighs miserably. "I knowwww..." she groans. "I don't know how to 
  make things better now." She frowns as she looks up into your face again. 
  "I've been trying to stay close, reassure him...I don't know what else to do."

Tamber says simply, "I believe we should do as Michael has recommended."

Bernadette glances skeptically out the door to the bedroom. "Force him to do 
  things for himself?"

You say "Indeed. We _must_ ferret out the heart of his terror, Bernadette. And 
  this we cannot do, unless we get him to speak it, or demonstrate it in his 
  actions. Only then, can we confront it and healit."

Bernadette nods slightly, but still looks unsure. "If you think it's best, 
  Tamber..."

Tamber clasps both your shoulders, and tells you honestly, "It pains my heart, 
  my dear, to see him stagger and whimper like a frightened fawn - particularly 
  after the effort through which I have gone to teach him confidence. But he 
  will not regain what he has lost unless he wins it through his own striving."

Bernadette blinkblinks and nods. "Okay..okay, we'll do it Michael's way." She 
  looks forlorn.

Tamber grips your hands encouragingly. "I know you do not believe it will be of 
  aid, dear girl... but think of the result, should it succeed. We will have 
  our Galahad back." He half-smiles. "And I have already pledged myself to 
  continue the effort I started - to teach him real confidence."

Bernadette manages a little smile as she squeezes your hands in return. "If 
  anyone can, it's you." She looks away to glance out the doorway once more.

Tamber smiles, and rises gracefully, helping you to your feet.

Bernadette rubs a hand across her eyes as she stands beside you.

You say "Come, my dear. Let us resume our quest to recover our knight, shall 
  we?"

[Scene break. Assume that Bernadette decided to bathe, to get herself more
   presentable, while Tamber kept an eye on Kevlan... and then, later, we
   resume... ]

Bernadette emerges from the bathing room, fresh her shower, her hair still 
  slighty damp, and regards Kevlan on the bed.

Tamber sits at the desk, typing, but he looks up quietly as Bernadette emerges.

Kevlan lies on his side, curled up with the blankets askew over him. He frowns 
  in his restless sleep, his tightly closed eyes suggesting dreaming.

Bernadette glances now at Tamber. "Has he woken up at all?" she asks in a 
  hushed voice.

Tamber says quietly, "He sleeps very lightly - he has opened his eyes 
  occasionally, but I do not think it has been true wakefulness."

Bernadette nods and pads to the side of the bed to take her usual seat in the 
  beanbag nearest to him.

Kevlan starts a little, his head twitching in Bernadette's direction as his 
  sensitive hearing picks up her approach.

Bernadette makes a small shushing sound and whispers "It's Berni, Kevlan...it's 
  okay."

Kevlan's eyes fly open, and he starts anxiously.

Bernadette refrains from moving any closer to Kevlan, darting a glance at 
  Tamber as she remembers Michael's advice, and looks back at Kevlan with a 
  smile. "See? It's just me, love."

Tamber turns in his seat, watching consideringly.

Kevlan blinkblinkblinks, struggling to focus his gaze. He utters a plaintive 
  whimper: "C-c-c-come b-b-back, Berni... "

Bernadette frowns a little with another glance at Tamber before she speaks 
  again. "I'm right here, Kevlan. Look at me."

Kevlan, disoriented, moans a little, but with an effort focuses his regard on 
  Bernadette's face.

Bernadette smiles again and nods encouragingly. "That's it. See? It's me..." 
  she pats her hands on her chest.

Kevlan peers at her uncertainly, then whimpers again.

Bernadette looks at Tamber, not sure what to do, then back at Kevlan and holds 
  out her hand. "See? Real.."

Tamber nods slowly, encouragingly, at Bernadette.

Kevlan gives a frightened little moan, then, his own hand abruptly shoots out 
  towards Bernadette's. His aim is off, and he clutches more at her elbow than 
  her hand...

Kevlan pleads, "C-C-C-Come back, Berni, p-p-p-please come back... 'sall 
  gone...!"

Bernadette looks a little alarmed and covers his hand on her elbow with her 
  opposite hand. "Kevlan, listen to me...I'm right here. I'm not going 
  anywhere." She tries to sound firm.

Kevlan overbalances himself and slides unsteadily off the edge of the bed, 
  fumbling frantically at the smaller Singer.

Bernadette frowns and holds onto his shoulders to help ease him to the floor 
  without harm. "It's okay..."

Kevlan trembles, and at last winds up in a ball on her lap, trying to bury his 
  face in her shoulder.

Bernadette looks over his head at Tamber, then back at and gently pushes him 
  back slightly. "Sit up, honey..."

Kevlan wraps his arms around Bernadette's small frame; his grasp is a little 
  stronger than it has been in some days, suggesting that his symbiont is doing 
  its job. He sniffles, though, not looking up.

Bernadette blinks and frowns a little more, not wanting to be too demanding. 
  She puts a hand under his chin and pushes up a little "Kevlan, look at me..."

Tamber leans forward, watching, his brow furrowed.
Tamber then rises, and comes over to kneel on Kevlan's other side. He touches 
  the younger man lightly. "Dear boy, it's alright... shhh... can you look at 
  Berni, now?"

Kevlan finally, hesitantly, raises his head.
Kevlan stares at Bernadette uncertainly, and a strange look crosses his haunted 
  eyes: flickers of recognition.

Bernadette gazes back at Kevlan, watching his expressions carefully. She gives 
  him a small smile. "Hi."

Tamber praises Kevlan gently, "That's it... you're doing marvellously."

Kevlan looks between the two timidly, till his gaze comes to rest on Bernadette 
  again.

Bernadette nods and affirms "I'm very proud." She smiles at Kevlan again.

Kevlan is still shaking, though, as Tamber flicks Bernadette an inquisitive 
  side look, waiting to see what she will do next.
Kevlan's mouth starts working, soundlessly; he blushes, and finally manages, 
  with an effort that leaves him sweating, "Berni."

Tamber's eyes light up.

Bernadette smiles broadly and nods. "That's right....It's me!" She leans in and 
  gives him a gentle hug before sitting back again and looking up at Tamber.

Kevlan huddles into Bernadette's side again as Tamber murmurs, smiling, to him, 
  "Oh, wondrous, my boy... yes! Can you talk to Berni?"
Kevlan relaxes his desperate grip on Berni, a little... seeming to register 
  that she is actually here, and that she will not vanish if he doesn't hang 
  onto her for dear life.

Bernadette slips an arm more securely around him and says earnestly "I've 
  missed you, Kevlan."

Kevlan looks shyly up again, and this time it is definite: his eyes hold 
  comprehension. He knows her. But his face is still streaked with sweat, and 
  he finally curls around her again, still trembling slightly.

Bernadette holds Kevlan to her, and uses the hem of her shirt to wipe his face 
  gently. She kisses the top of his head and looks up at Tamber again.

Tamber nods softly, looking approving. "Do not press him, my dear, past what he 
  can do."

Bernadette nods, visibly relieved, and rests her cheek on the top of his head, 
  both arms encircling him now.

[End log.]