Log Date: 12/5/95
Log Intro: It's been a long and rather stressful Whitecold at Willowholt,
as ever since his unfortunate encounter with Dawn's favorite dream-giving
mushrooms, Strongbow has suffered under a renewed recollection of his slaying
of the Cat Elf Tash. Or at least, that is what is suspected, for the archer
has confided in neither his lifemate nor his soul-sister, Rillwhisper.
He has spent many days simply curled up in the Starwillow's guest den,
with only Moonshade and the growing -- and still un-named -- wolf cub
she'd brought him.

Growing increasingly worried about her mate, Moonshade resolves that
something must be done....

----------
Moonshade wakes up, stretching.
 
Strongbow sits by the entranceway, eyes distant, deep in thought.
 
Moonshade quietly gets to her feet and makes her way across the room, almost
  silently, until she is standing behind her mate.
 
Strongbow seems lost in his memories; if he hears the motion, he pays it no
  mind.
 
Moonshade kneels, quietly behind you, trying to make her presence known 
  without disturbing you.
Moonshade locksends ** <barely a whisper> life-mate? **
 
Strongbow turns slightly, coming a bit away from his distant thought-place,
  to look over his shoulder at you, eyes brownly full.
 
Moonshade smiles, almost shyly, sorry to have broken your reverie.
 
Strongbow turns the rest of his body, slowly, to face you. ** High-sun will
  be here soon... **
 
Moonshade nods "I know.. I don't know what came over me.. sleeping.. at this
  time.. "

Strongbow sighs, almost imperceptibly. ** We should return to the holt. **

Moonshade looks askance "Are you ready? Should you travel?" Moonshade tries
  another tack.. "Is the cub ready?"
 
Strongbow looks aside, at the cub sleeping in the furs. ** She'll make it.
  Not so cold as the last time. ** He bows his head, staring at the den's 
  floor for a moment, then lifts his head to look at you. ** I can travel...
  and I should. ** His eyes flicker, a trace of flame in them, then calm once 
  more. ** But Rillwhisper may not let me. **
 
Moonshade makes no reply.
Moonshade says "Would you like me to return then? And to take the cub?"
 
Strongbow shakes his head. ** No. ** He is quiet for a moment.
Strongbow leans against the den wall, head lowered once more. ** I'll talk
  to her. And we'll go. **
 
Moonshade says "i can tell them that you are staying. That you need to be
  HERE."

Strongbow shakes his head. ** No difference. He's not here. **
 
Moonshade seems torn remembering.. things..
Memories flash thru Moonshade's eyes, confused memories of things
  better left forgotten.. "I think you should stay.. I will return.."
 
Strongbow shakes his head, looking up at you, sending firm. ** You shouldn't
  have come alone once, ** he retorts, words shot through with the image of
  you collapsing in the snow.
 
Moonshade shrugs. "YOU needed the cub.. and NOW you need to stay. Besides,
  like you said, it isn't as cold now."
Moonshade flashes a defiant look, angry in her hurt.
 
Strongbow shakes his head again. ** What if _I_ need you here? **
 
Moonshade thinks that there is someone else you need more. "I know that
  now.." Moonshade whispers.
Moonshade steps back and begins collecting the few things she has around the
  room.
 
Strongbow gets to his feet and follows you, reaching out to put a
  not-too-gentle hand on your shoulder.

Moonshade turns with a look of studied innocence on her face. "Hmm? I want to
  put as much distance in as I can today.. get back that much sooner."
 
You locksend to Moonshade, Strongbow's send flashes. ** How can you think
  you know for me? **
Strongbow reaches out his other hand to take your other shoulder,
  locksending, ** I know my mate. **
 
Moonshade glares back. "I don't THINK, I know. I was there.. the other
  night..."

Strongbow shakes his head firmly, eyes narrowing. ** I needed a healer to 
  clear my head. Couldn't you see that clear? **

Moonshade nods. "But I saw a lot more than that."

You locksend to Moonshade, Strongbow's send is almost intrusive. ** Then show 
  me. **

Moonshade glares back. "Why are you doing this to me? I've known, I just 
  didn't want to admit it. She means JUST as much as I do.. And I think you 
  need her.. which is why I think you should stay.."
Moonshade says "You have been at the holt for years.. and it hasn't helped 
  you.. but being here has.. and I think you should stay.. and get well."
Moonshade wrenches her shoulder away and goes back to what she was doing, then 
  faces you. "Don't you see. "We" aren't important.. Getting you well IS. and 
  if this is where you have to be and if... Ri.. these are the people you need 
  to be with.. then.. you STAY."

Strongbow reaches back out, stepping forward, gripping your shoulder again, 
  locksending. ** Who at Lostholt would smoke me in shrooms? What healer at
  Lostholt would think to cut open an old wound? ** His eyes flash, but not 
  with flame this time. ** And who here would hold me? You were my lifemate 
  when Bearclaw was my brother. Why can't you be my lifemate when Rillwhisper 
  is the same? **
Strongbow shakes his head, hair flickering violet-red in a streak of fading 
  light. ** You should be by me, now most of all! **

Moonshade glares. "Why? So I can watch others give you something that I can't? 
  I am needed back at the holt.. YOU need to be here. Why can't you just 
  accept that?"

Strongbow flinches back, pulling his hands away. He is silent for a moment, 
  then turns to stare out the entranceway of the den into the branches. 
  ** _I_ need you. ** His shoulders rise and fall, tensing with his breaths, 
  as he formulates words. ** But if the holt needs you, and not me, so be it. 
  Go. **

Moonshade says "In case you hadn't noticed it is COLD out. They need leathers 
  and hides at the holt.. and I can't do that while I am here. Why should I 
  stay when it's obvious that R... others are perfectly capable of helping you?"
Moonshade turns to face you. "You what???"

Strongbow faces away, out the den entrance. ** You're right. They need their 
  tanner. Go. **

Moonshade blinks...fighting to stand by the Way...

Strongbow is silent, watching the newgreen leaves budding out on the trees.

Moonshade shoves the few articles of clothing that she had with her into the 
  suede carisack and fingers the pouch that she had used to carry the cub.. 
  "Do you want her to stay or should I take her with me?"

Strongbow's shoulders fall at that, though his sending carries no change of 
  intonation...very little tone, in fact, at all. ** Take her. Keep her safer 
  than I can. **

Moonshade scoops up the cub, then looks at the pouch then back at the cub. "I 
  don't think she's going to fit."

Strongbow sends, tonelessly, ** She's big enough to walk. **

Soulful-Eyed Wolf Cub wakens groggily at being scooped up, and wriggles 
  half-heartedly.

Moonshade says "She's not THAT big and it's a BIG walk."
Moonshade dumps the clothes out of her bag onto the floor and puts the cub 
  inside.
Moonshade says "Please bring those when you come... back."
Moonshade's voice trails off.

Strongbow continues to watch the budding leaves. ** Yes. ** Almost as an 
  afterthought, he stands away from the entrance, then turns to look at you, 
  eyes shimmering.

Moonshade glares around at nothing in particular.
Moonshade runs out as tears fill violet eyes and almost overflow.
Moonshade steps out through the door-hide into the heart of the tree.
Moonshade has left.

Strongbow turns and steps, slowly, to the den entrance and looks out. Silent, 
  he remains that way for a long time before slowly retreating into the den. 
  He kneels, lifting one of the discarded leathers, then lies down among them 
  to stare at the den ceiling.

[End log.]